


Cosmos and Candy Floss

by Lyrae



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Dammit Jim, Good Jim Moriarty, He's not particularly bad, I mean, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Murder, POV Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes and Drug Use, Sherlock is a Mess, Sherlock-centric, Teen Jim, Teen Sherlock, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:07:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26054677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyrae/pseuds/Lyrae
Summary: Sherlock was bored and curious, so visiting that abandoned amusement park and trying to find out why it had been closed was the only thing to do, right?
Relationships: Mycroft Holmes & Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes & James Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes & Jim Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes/James Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes/Jim Moriarty
Comments: 10
Kudos: 37





	Cosmos and Candy Floss

**Author's Note:**

> For the "amusement park" prompt on amino, hope y'all will like this!

The Ferris wheel screeched as it slowly moved, the cars lazily making their way on the wheel.

The strangest thing wasn't even the fact that the attraction was working when the park had been closed years ago, maybe the mechanism was having a dysfunction or something, but the teen currently waving at him from the highest point of the wheel, getting closer to the ground second after second. 

Sherlock had decided to visit the old amusement park at the outskirts of the town, fueled by boredom, annoyance towards his brother and their parents, mixed with the lack of anything better to do… And insatiable curiosity. 

No one really seemed to know why the park had been closed, surely it was because of something pretty bad as parks this size didn't usually stop welcoming guests until they had an extremely good reason to do so, but even though he had asked around, no one had ever been able to answer him and no newspapers had given any details about the incident. 

Strange, wasn't it? 

What could they be trying to cover up? A deadly malfunction in the attractions? Sherlock had done his research, but the park wasn't on unstable ground, so it probably wasn't crumbling down, but then why? Even if something was broken, why not simply fix it or permanently close that one attraction? 

Unless-

Unless someone had died there, an accident, a murder, someone had died and the only way to cover it up had been to close the park… 

But well, if Sherlock was honest with himself, he didn't really believe in this theory either, plenty of places like this saw casualties, and of course, it wasn't very good for their reputations, but they didn't  _ close.  _

Anyway, the reasons behind his presence here didn't explain the other's. 

"Hi~! " said stranger exclaimed once the Ferris wheel's car finally dropped him back on the ground, the illusion of a relaxed, laid back teen completely shattered by the defiance in his dark eyes. 

"Who are you? What are you doing here? " direct, frank, Mycroft would probably sneer and berate him about the importance of charming your interlocutor before collecting information, but Sherlock couldn't have cared less at the moment, he  _ needed  _ to know

The other teen shook his head in exaggerated annoyance, strands of nearly black hair falling on his forehead, but there was no real bite behind his next words. 

"Wow, rude! " he seemed to contemplate whether or not to answer the questions, but he ultimately complied "I'm Jim, and I actually live here, thank you very much. "

He  _ lived  _ here _?  _

_ Why would he do that?  _

The boy-  _ Jim, he forced himself to remember -  _ smirked, as if he knew exactly what Sherlock was thinking. 

"Well, it is more comfortable than where I was before… And it's nice to be on my own sometimes-"  _ only sometimes? Sherlock would kill for Mycroft to leave him alone during the holidays  _ "-but you would know that, wouldn't you Sherlock? "

The latter froze. 

_ What- _

"How do you even know my name? And I'm pretty sure someone would come looking for you at some point, either your family or your school. "

Jim smiled again, this time more wistful than victorious. 

"Oh, well, you have quite the reputation you know? And don't worry about that either, everyone probably already thinks I'm dead anyway, I think they looked for me in the beginning, but no one was really interested and they forgot about it quickly enough. "

"Still, if you use the attractions, someone is bound to notice at some point! "

Sherlock's outburst only seemed to amuse Jim even more, the other boy raising his hands to the side and twirling dramatically on his heels. 

"Really? I've been here since the park closed and no one ever came to check before you… Plus, with how thick the forest is, you can't even see the tips of the attractions from far away, so there's no way anyone will see them move unless they're coming here in the first place."

Well, he had to admit the boy wasn't lying when he spoke about the woods… just crossing them with his bike had taken him more than 20 minutes. 

Alright-

So apparently this boy had been living here for years, alone, without anyone ever mentioning his disappearance in the town or in the schools, without anyone panicking over his absence, and everything on his being, from the way he was dressed to how he held himself, said the same story. 

Poor, with at least one abusing parent, probably the father if the way he styled his hair was to be trusted, independent from a young age and-

Jim's abyssal eyes met his own blue ones, and Sherlock understood that the boy knew  _ exactly  _ what he was doing, and that  _ he was doing it right back _ .

"It's pretty rude to stare… most people would be weirded out if someone started mentally dissecting them. "

Sherlock tilted his head to the side, his lips curling into a sly grin. 

"But you're not most people, are you? "

  
  


\------------

  
  


Jim offered to show him around the park afterwards, and Sherlock didn't have to contemplate the offer for a long time before accepting, following the other boy around the attractions. 

As they spoke, he managed to gather that Jim was sleeping into the park's hotel and eating the food they had seemingly abandoned when closing the place down. 

Sherlock didn't really understand why they would leave the bedsheets, and even less why they would abandon so much food like that but seeing as this had been the reason why Jim was still here in the first place, he couldn't help but be thankful for it…

"Anyway, how did you even turn on the attractions? Isn't the power cut off? "

"The electricity works when I want it to" Jim only answered, grinning slightly, and Sherlock guessed that the boy must have messed with the wires somehow. 

Still, why use the attractions? Sure, at first it was probably quite fun, but after a few years-

"Well, it's just cooler to read a book while soaring in the air, you know? " Jim smiled softly, looking at the sky "And when you stand up, when you put yourself near the edges and open your arms, it almost feels like falling. "

Sherlock didn't know why anybody would like to experience falling, he certainly didn't want to, that was certain, but if the other liked it, who was he to judge him? 

"Oh, I see… "

"You should try one day, and you have no reason to be scared, falling is just like flying except there's a more permanent destination. "

  
  


\-----------

  
  


Sherlock left for the day, they smiled at each other, without a word, both knowing it wouldn't be the last time they saw each other even if they made no promise to meet again. 

It was simply obvious, wasn't it? Sherlock needed to know more, about the park, about Jim, about  _ everything.  _

When he finally arrived back home, it was already quite late, the moon barely lighting his way with its soft glow, and well, he should have expected his family's reaction to his disappearance. 

His mother seemed disappointed in him, his father asked him where he had gone, but left when he understood he would get no answer from his youngest son, and Mycroft was true to himself, berating him for an eternity about his carelessness. 

Still, it wasn't that bad next to what had happened when he had come back completely high. 

In the end, he did his best to ignore them, losing himself in his thoughts, imagining he was in the Ferris wheel car right next to Jim. 

  
  


\-------------

"You came back. "

Sherlock smiled. 

"Obviously. "

He had immediately sneaked out in the morning in order to spend more time with the other boy, and really, seeing Jim's answering grin, he didn't regret it for even a second, consequences be damned. 

"So, do you want to see anything in particular today? I didn't have the time to show you everything before it got dark last time. "

The answer flew immediately, the words on the tip of Sherlock's tongue finally breaking free. 

"Wait, do you know why the park was closed? Or where I should go to find out? "

"I'm sorry, I don't know either, and after living there for years, I never found anything particularly strange… " Jim said immediately, dark eyes meeting blue ones. 

One, two, three. 

_Too long_. 

"Oh, well that's a shame, tell me if you remember anything! " 

_Liar_. 

\--------------

_ The next day, Jim offered him candy floss, it was far too sweet but Sherlock ate it nonetheless.  _

\--------------

School started again, Mycroft kept scolding him when he came back, but neither that nor Jim's lie stopped him from coming back. 

It was probably an addiction at this point, more severe than any drugs, addiction to intelligent conversations and dark humor, addiction to saccharine smiles and cutting comments, addiction to falling in the hope of evading the landing. 

Weeks after weeks, months after months, he would leave school, ignoring whatever new taunts his "comrades" were throwing his way, and hop on his bike, moving as fast as he could until he saw the old fence and the familiar silhouette of Jim at the top of the Ferris wheel. 

"Hi. " Sherlock breathed out that day, and the other grinned. 

"Hey, you still haven't seen my room, have you?"

He had not, and so he shook his head, intrigued. 

"Well, follow me then! " 

Knowing Jim slept in the old hotel and actually running up the stairs after him were two, very different, things in the end, and finally seeing his room was something else entirely. 

It was all… very Jim, also very Sherlock, in the sense that it was exactly what he had imagined the other's living arrangements to be like. 

He had picked the most luxurious room, of course, and had then proceeded to put books and hand-drawn star charts everywhere, sometimes even covering the walls. 

Speaking of the books, it was quite amusing to see that some of the one he had seen in the library and thought Jim would like were already in his possession… amusing, but also strange. 

"How did you get that one? " Sherlock asked, holding a small astronomy book "It was published a few months ago, you couldn't have had it before you moved here, which means that-"

Jim fidgeted. 

"-you did leave the park at some point! 

The other seemed almost relieved when he heard the end of the sentence. 

"I did but I'm not leaving ever again. "

"Why not? "

Jim only looked away and Sherlock sighed. 

"Alright, but I will bring you new books from now on! "

And just like that, the atmosphere turned cheerful again. 

\-------------

Sherlock did not go back on his words, and everytime he thought Jim would like them, he brought dozens of books, putting them in a pile on the ground. 

At some point, he even found some phosphorescent paint and they painted stars on the ceiling together, each taking one side to go faster. 

"Thank you Sherlock, I really don't know how to repay you. " Jim half whispered as they lay down on the ground, watching the new constellations. 

Sherlock turned to the side, completely focused on the other's profile. 

"Come to college with me then. "

The room was cold, icy even, but Jim liked it that way, and so it was in freezing air that the words lingered for a few seconds. 

"What? "

Years had passed, Sherlock had never managed to fit in at school and only Jim was a relief from the boredom of his normal life, but now he was going to graduate, and since there was no university near his house, near the _ park,  _ he knew he wouldn't be able to see the other, unless -

"Come on, we both know you heard me, and why not?? "

"Sherlock. "

"Even if you didn't go to school, you're as intelligent as I am, and who would blame you for disappearing when you're still a minor and no one even looked for you? "

"Sherlock. "

"My family has a lot of connections, so you'll be able to enter Cambridge or Oxford with no problem! We'll take a flat together and-"

_ "SHERLOCK! " _

Saying that he has never heard Jim scream was a lie, the other loved to play with his voice so raising it had never been an issue, but this? This was something more, this was dark, primal, the kind of scream that was made to bare your teeth and look more intimidating when the enemy was about to strike the last blow. 

Behind the rage, it almost sounded like he was afraid. 

"I can't. " he breathed out, pained

"But-"

Sherlock's defence was immediately stopped. 

"Please, leave. "

_ What?  _

"I won't repeat myself Sherlock, please. "

And so, he stood up, tasting sickeningly sweet candy floss on his lips, and walked away. 

  
  


\-----------

  
  


Sherlock rode away as fast as he could, he screamed in the middle of the forest, screamed as much as he could until his throat hurt too much to continue, he screamed until he was back on the main road and then he simply stopped, stuck in a mutism until he finally arrived back home. 

The light was on, so his brother was here, but since the cars were gone, it seemed like he was alone. 

"Mycroft. " he breathed out, his voice hoarse from the abuse. 

Whether it was because of how he sounded, or because he usually never talked to his brother unless he absolutely needed to, but the older was immediately at his side, worry hiding beneath the ice. 

"Is something wrong Sherlock? Where were you again? At that same place where you always disappear. "

Normally, he would have scowled at the barrage of questions, but he needed to  _ talk.  _

"Yes, I was at the amusement park. "

"The amusement park…?"

Mycroft became as white as a sheet when he heard the words, even paler than he usually was which was a feat in itself, and the look in his eyes was so strange that it almost made Sherlock stop. 

"Why were you there? "

_ It was the exact same expression he wore when he spoke of the east wind…  _

"I was visiting a friend. My age, dark eyes, dark hair, he's living there, been living there for years really, his name is -"

It was probably childish to rat on his friend like that, he knew the other didn't want to leave the park, but if Mycroft got involved, he would help him reason with him right? Or he would force him like he always forced Sherlock and just enroll him in college whether he wanted it or not! 

_ If Sherlock had paid more attention, he would have noticed the dread spreading on his brother's face, the way he looked like a ghost had just greeted him, how his lips parted to interrupt him without any sounds coming out.  _

"James...? 

"Jim. "

Sherlock nodded, still not looking at the other. 

"Oh, you've heard about his disappearance then? Well, he's not dead, isn't that just great? It would be better if he accepted to get out of those abandoned park though… "

Mycroft took a deep breath, seemed to hesitate, and finally spoke, his voice strangely shaky. 

"Brother dear… do you know why the park closed?"

The east wind is coming Sherlock, and it's coming to get everything you care about. 

The younger shook his head, annoyed. 

"If I knew, I wouldn't have gone there in the first place, so no, of course not. "

Mycroft stayed silent for an instant, and Sherlock's eyes sharpened. 

"You know, don't you? What was it, for you to hesitate like that? An accident? A murder? "

"Both. "

_ Both?  _

Mycroft stood up, took a key dangling from a chain around his neck and went into his study, coming back with what seemed to be a photo album. 

"Does your Jim look like that? " he asked, opening the book and showing him one of the pictures. 

He seemed younger of course, even more than he had been when they first met, with bright eyes and a wide grin, but what stunned him wasn't that image, but all the photos next to this one, Sherlock helping Jim up a tree, Jim holding out a bag of popcorn while they watched a movie, Sherlock and Jim eating candy floss with happy smiles on their faces. 

"What are those?"

Mycroft ignored his question and turned the pages, again and again, picture upon pictures of the two of them having fun, sometimes with a younger girl in the background, and then-

Jim, standing in the highest car of the Ferris wheel, waving, the dark haired girl from before visible behind him. 

_ The east wind is coming brother…  _

"Do you remember why you took heroin for the first time Sherlock? "

_ He had been young, barely a teen, he had forgotten already, and something told him that was exactly what he had wanted.  _

"Who is she? " he asked, even if he already knew. 

_ Eurus, the east wind, the dejected sister, the crazy girl who threw her brother's friend over the edges and laughed.  _

"Eurus. "

_ Maybe the worst, in the end, was the fact that Eurus had liked Jim, the boy understood her like even Sherlock couldn't, and really, she had nothing against him, if it wasn't for one little detail: _

_ Sherlock was hers.  _

"What happened ?" 

_You know what happened Sherlock, youknowyouknowyouknow-_

"She was jealous and she pushed him off the ferris wheel, he died on the spot. A scandal like this would have damaged Uncle Rudy's reputation and harmed my future career, so… they put her away and the park was closed to stop any investigation."

_ It had to be a joke right? It- _

_ It simply had too.  _

_ Sherlock had seen Jim grow older, he had seen him laugh and read, he had seen him eat and paint, he had seen him LIVE.  _

_ … _

_ Sherlock had never touched him once. _

He didn't answer, he couldn't answer, he ignored Mycroft's worried calls and he ran, grabbing his bike on the way and riding through the tears. 

  
  


\-------------

  
  


Mycroft had lied. 

After 20 minutes spent biking in the forest, Sherlock had finally calmed down, finally focused on everything that had happened, and yes, Mycroft had lied. 

The pictures could be easily falsified, and since when did he have a sister? Their parents had never mentioned her, she didn't even have a room in their house and he had never seen any photos of her before now!

Why he would do that, he still couldn't quite understand, maybe he wanted Sherlock to finally abandon his friend and study seriously, maybe he had some twisted reason, who cared, maybe maybe maybe, maybe he was simply crazy-

"Jim? Jim, I'm sorry for what I said earlier, and you won't believe what weird story Mycroft tried to make me swallow! "

_Nobody answered_. 

The park was strangely quiet, strangely dark, Jim didn't like the silence nor the abyss so he often left at least one attraction on and so there were always warm lights everywhere and a remnant of carnival music, but right now? 

Nothing but chilling emptiness. 

The stalls seemed to have been abandoned years ago, the roller coasters were falling apart, the ferris wheel was swaying ever so slightly because of the wind… 

Sherlock ran. 

He ran and ran and ran until he was in front of the hotel, and then he ignored the cobwebs getting into his eyes and climbed the stairs as fast as he could. 

Jim's room was here of course, but gone were the soft pillows, gone were the astronomy charts and the equations etched on the walls, the only things left were the books Sherlock had brought and half a ceiling worth of phosphorescent stars. 

  
  


\-----------

  
  


…

…

…

"Congratulations on the two PhDs Mr Holmes! " 

Sherlock accepted the offered handshake with something that was more of a wince than a smile, and promptly excused himself, leaving the room, the building, and the entire college, as fast as he could. 

He couldn't hop on his bike and join Jim like he did previously, the amusement park had been empty for years now, a decade if one didn't count his delusion… 

Still, that didn't mean he had stopped seeing the other. 

The double PhD was to honour him in a way, forensic sciences, for himself, and astronomy, for the dead teen. 

Oh, Sherlock had never been really interested in the cosmos himself, but his friend was always so happy to converse with him about the subject, his dark eyes would lit up and he would beam happily for the next few hours. 

Finally, he was back home. 

Tourniquet, needle, heroin, a simple push, longer than usual, and he went under. 

_ When he breathed again, he could smell sugar in the air.  _

Jim was here of course, smiling and holding out his hand, so Sherlock took it for the first time in forever, nearly weeping when he felt warm fingers close over his. 

He jumped inside the ferris wheel's car and sat next to the other, their fingers entwined, their souls melting into each other until they were indiscernible. 

_ Higher, higher, higher _ . 

He should have done it years ago, that little push, that little excess that could bring him with Jim forever, but he had wanted to study that subject the other loved so much, and now that it was done, now that they would never have trouble understanding each other-

He would never need to go back. 

Sherlock kissed Jim at the top of the ferris wheel, tasting cosmos and candy floss. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope it wasn't too weird! Tell me what you thought in the comments below :)


End file.
